Dear Annie, I can’t believe that I am facing the holidays alone again! I love holiday festivities and traditions. I can handle the ups and downs of my family over Christmas, but the thought of being alone on New Year’s Eve is upsetting.
It’s such a romantic holiday––kissing at midnight, planning for the future—and I hate the reminder that I’m on my own. As much as I’ve tried this year, I have not connected with anyone who wants to be in a relationship.
Although part of me wants to sleep through the whole thing, I realize that there might be something I can do differently. I know it’s too late to find an actual boyfriend before then. What can I do to find a date for New Year’s? Therese
It’s almost never too late to find a date for New Year’s Eve. It’s best if you don’t project too much meaning into it. A New Year’s date with someone you’ve just met is no more likely to portend a romantic future than a similar one that takes place at any other time.
Some single men prefer to wait to ask until the last minute. A guy may fear that asking for a date ahead of time might send the wrong message. If a man isn’t ready to be your boyfriend, he may worry that a New Year’s date that is planned well in advance will create unrealistic expectations.
In the meantime, I suggest that you seek out opportunities to meet men..Don’t leave home unless you look your best. You can’t know where you might meet someone. My clients have met their mates in varied places, including waiting for BART, at the grocery store and at the gym.
The key is to be aware of those around you, so that you can interact at a moment’s notice. Do your errands at busy times, so you’ll have more opportunities to meet men. Go to local holiday events and chat with strangers. Accept all invitations.
Check out Meetups, singles parties, or local dances that hold lessons before the main event.Disengage with your phone—you don’t want to be distracted at the wrong time. Take the pods out of your ears, make eye contact and say hi to strangers. Strike up conversations by asking open-ended questions.
Interact with at least two men on an online dating site or app each day. Take advantage of opportunities to connect, even if someone isn’t your type. If you’ve been single for a long time, you might consider the possibility that the men who are “your type” aren’t the type of guys who want to commit. and start exploring the possibility of a relationship with other types of men.